I'm Afraid of Doctors! Yes, The People Who Help YOU! Laugh With Me!
Not all can identify with me on this. I'm just throwing it out there for anyone who can. I write about everything big and small because God refreshes me as I write. My hope is that He will refresh you with truth as well. I also hope that you can laugh a little at this, because I can! This is not about a major illness. But I share it for the ones who feel alone in their big fears about small stuff. This is about a default response to ANY visit to ANY doctor for ANY reason. It could just be a sore throat! I have "old tapes" that God is still re-defining in my mind. But first, here is what I'm talking about.
Today I sat in the chair in the doctor's office waiting for my turn. The nurse had already come in and chit chatted and knocked my nerves down from a #10 to a #5. (Here's a plug for nurses - I love you! You walk into the room first and assess the situation, the ME! You speak gentle words, you smile, you are tired, yet you love your patients! You intercede!) But then she left, and like every other time IN MY LIFE, the time between when the nurse leaves and the doctor comes feels like 3 hours. This is not because the wait is too long. It is because of what I do to myself! My heart rate goes up, my palms sweat, I try to distract myself. Then I re-process how I am going to ask my question. I consider apologizing for even being there, and then tell myself not to do that. I remind myself that my questions are clear and valid. There's no reason to feel dumb or afraid. Then I spiral back to "why didn't I cancel this appointment?" I'm telling you it's a living nightmare.
But wait, it gets worse! I hear the clicking of shoes up and down the hallway, each time I wonder if they will stop outside my door and pull my chart. The shoes click on by...more time to be crazy ( or as they say, "cray cray!" ). Then the shoes click back and I hear the slide of my chart come off the other side of the door. Oh man, it really is me now! Deep breath...this is so silly...deep breath...big smile and huge pretend joy comes out of my quivering mouth, I say "Hi! How are you today? Thank you for making time for me. I'm so sorry to bother you...blah blah blah."
Within 15 seconds the doctor, whoever it may be, knows how to disarm my fears and keep it light hearted. Then comes the big question, "so what brings you here today?" I, of course, apologize and dig out the courage to ask my question. Or maybe I should say, grace settles in. The courage is never mine. The courage always comes from God. Then when it's all laid out there, vulnerable as it gets for me, the doctor has encouraging words. It has always wrapped up with validation for my concern. I leave with answers...my heart rate slows, the relief begins to swell. Why do I do that to myself???? I'm almost 48 for Pete's sake! Sorry Pete!
I'm so thankful for doctors, aren't you? What a blessing! They live a life of sacrifice to help us in our weakness. Hmmm... Sound like a picture of anyone? I'm not comparing doctors and nurses to God, but I think there's a good word picture here. Why do we fear the One Who can help us? The Who says you are not bothering Me! The One Who says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30.
God is faithful! He knows how to change "old tapes!" One of my favorite verses is 1 Thessalonians 5:24, "The One Who calls you is faithful, and He will do it." If we are in relationship with God, then we are in the Word and prayer. He equips us through that! He changes those"old tapes" and replaces them with truth! "Sanctify them by Your Word, Your Word is truth." John 17:17 We need to be in the Word of God in order to change our thinking! He does the changing in us through our relationship with Him! His Word is "alive and active" according to Hebrews 12:4. That sounds weird, but it's true! God works through His love letter to us. He sorts out our thoughts and brings right thinking. It may take a long time to break the cycle of "old tapes." But the daily pursuit of His truth helps us on a daily basis to grow and change.
Another cool thing to realize is that in Romans 12 it talks about the renewing of our minds! But it goes on to say that we all have different gifts. So, first, we must recognize that it is OK to receive help from someone who is gifted and knowledgeable about things with which we need help. Second, we must be willing to step out and help others who have needs that we can speak truth into, and give encouragement. Needs and helps should form a beautiful exchange. God created us that way. And the most beautiful exchange (sacrifice) was when Jesus took our punishment and gave us His righteousness so that we have direct access to God our Father. It is always OK to run to our Father in Heaven. He waits with open arms! Here is the truth of Romans 12:
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect... 4 For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, 5 so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. 6 Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them..." Romans 12:2-5
Often when I do battle against my thoughts, I pray 2 Corinthians 10:4-5. "For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. 5We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,"
So yes, I may still have to work through the "doctor appointment fear," and take my thoughts captive. Guess what God wants me to learn from that? God is our Healer! Jehovah Rapha means the Lord our Healer - our Doctor! Once again, it is a reminder that His names are also a part of our healing. There is purpose in meditating on the names of God. He does not want us to fear coming to Him! He has the answers. And He also has Divine appointments for us every day to receive and give help. Lord help us to move in the gifts you have given us and trust in your Divine plan.
The shoes in the hall and the slide of my medical chart should bring hope not fear. It is translating again into "Julie, 'I have chosen you and not rejected you. 'Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'" Isaiah 41:9b-10
So, I may still tremble as the sound of doctor shoes move up the hall towards my door. But I have been around the barn enough to have these truths on the inside. When I write them out, I refresh my own experience of God's faithfulness. That's why God told us all throughout the Bible to recount what He has done for His children, what He has done for us. I hope it is contagious! And not as in "need the doctor" contagious! In what area do you need refreshing? And I must add, I've seen grace in the unimaginable circumstances in other's lives. His grace is not just for the small stuff that feels big, it's for the BIG stuff too! Be blessed by His love this weekend!
Refresh Me, Leeland
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcGrYvyQleU
Today I sat in the chair in the doctor's office waiting for my turn. The nurse had already come in and chit chatted and knocked my nerves down from a #10 to a #5. (Here's a plug for nurses - I love you! You walk into the room first and assess the situation, the ME! You speak gentle words, you smile, you are tired, yet you love your patients! You intercede!) But then she left, and like every other time IN MY LIFE, the time between when the nurse leaves and the doctor comes feels like 3 hours. This is not because the wait is too long. It is because of what I do to myself! My heart rate goes up, my palms sweat, I try to distract myself. Then I re-process how I am going to ask my question. I consider apologizing for even being there, and then tell myself not to do that. I remind myself that my questions are clear and valid. There's no reason to feel dumb or afraid. Then I spiral back to "why didn't I cancel this appointment?" I'm telling you it's a living nightmare.
But wait, it gets worse! I hear the clicking of shoes up and down the hallway, each time I wonder if they will stop outside my door and pull my chart. The shoes click on by...more time to be crazy ( or as they say, "cray cray!" ). Then the shoes click back and I hear the slide of my chart come off the other side of the door. Oh man, it really is me now! Deep breath...this is so silly...deep breath...big smile and huge pretend joy comes out of my quivering mouth, I say "Hi! How are you today? Thank you for making time for me. I'm so sorry to bother you...blah blah blah."
Within 15 seconds the doctor, whoever it may be, knows how to disarm my fears and keep it light hearted. Then comes the big question, "so what brings you here today?" I, of course, apologize and dig out the courage to ask my question. Or maybe I should say, grace settles in. The courage is never mine. The courage always comes from God. Then when it's all laid out there, vulnerable as it gets for me, the doctor has encouraging words. It has always wrapped up with validation for my concern. I leave with answers...my heart rate slows, the relief begins to swell. Why do I do that to myself???? I'm almost 48 for Pete's sake! Sorry Pete!
I'm so thankful for doctors, aren't you? What a blessing! They live a life of sacrifice to help us in our weakness. Hmmm... Sound like a picture of anyone? I'm not comparing doctors and nurses to God, but I think there's a good word picture here. Why do we fear the One Who can help us? The Who says you are not bothering Me! The One Who says, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30.
God is faithful! He knows how to change "old tapes!" One of my favorite verses is 1 Thessalonians 5:24, "The One Who calls you is faithful, and He will do it." If we are in relationship with God, then we are in the Word and prayer. He equips us through that! He changes those"old tapes" and replaces them with truth! "Sanctify them by Your Word, Your Word is truth." John 17:17 We need to be in the Word of God in order to change our thinking! He does the changing in us through our relationship with Him! His Word is "alive and active" according to Hebrews 12:4. That sounds weird, but it's true! God works through His love letter to us. He sorts out our thoughts and brings right thinking. It may take a long time to break the cycle of "old tapes." But the daily pursuit of His truth helps us on a daily basis to grow and change.
Another cool thing to realize is that in Romans 12 it talks about the renewing of our minds! But it goes on to say that we all have different gifts. So, first, we must recognize that it is OK to receive help from someone who is gifted and knowledgeable about things with which we need help. Second, we must be willing to step out and help others who have needs that we can speak truth into, and give encouragement. Needs and helps should form a beautiful exchange. God created us that way. And the most beautiful exchange (sacrifice) was when Jesus took our punishment and gave us His righteousness so that we have direct access to God our Father. It is always OK to run to our Father in Heaven. He waits with open arms! Here is the truth of Romans 12:
"Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect... 4 For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, 5 so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another. 6 Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them..." Romans 12:2-5
Often when I do battle against my thoughts, I pray 2 Corinthians 10:4-5. "For the weapons of our warfare are not of the flesh but have divine power to destroy strongholds. 5We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,"
So yes, I may still have to work through the "doctor appointment fear," and take my thoughts captive. Guess what God wants me to learn from that? God is our Healer! Jehovah Rapha means the Lord our Healer - our Doctor! Once again, it is a reminder that His names are also a part of our healing. There is purpose in meditating on the names of God. He does not want us to fear coming to Him! He has the answers. And He also has Divine appointments for us every day to receive and give help. Lord help us to move in the gifts you have given us and trust in your Divine plan.
The shoes in the hall and the slide of my medical chart should bring hope not fear. It is translating again into "Julie, 'I have chosen you and not rejected you. 'Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.'" Isaiah 41:9b-10
So, I may still tremble as the sound of doctor shoes move up the hall towards my door. But I have been around the barn enough to have these truths on the inside. When I write them out, I refresh my own experience of God's faithfulness. That's why God told us all throughout the Bible to recount what He has done for His children, what He has done for us. I hope it is contagious! And not as in "need the doctor" contagious! In what area do you need refreshing? And I must add, I've seen grace in the unimaginable circumstances in other's lives. His grace is not just for the small stuff that feels big, it's for the BIG stuff too! Be blessed by His love this weekend!
Refresh Me, Leeland
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HcGrYvyQleU
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