Beauty from Ashes - A Continual Process

We all have seasons that take us to our knees in prayer.  But oh, to be steady there forever on my knees.  That is my prayer , and that is why I share.  Because I can never find peace on my own, with all my fixes and doubts.  "I’ve stood tall and I have crumbled in the same breath" are lyrics that jumped out at me yesterday from the song As You Find Me , by Hillsong United. It's by God's grace that I can look back and see the lengthening of seasons of peace as the seasons of despair shorten.  There is grace for that.  But there are things that come along that break my soul in pieces, and it is there that grace waits to catch me.  It's there for you too. Until our journey on earth takes us to Heaven, we will face mountains that seem to separate us from the love of our Heavenly Father.   But the truth is that He has the purest love a Father can have.  His love is strengthening His children during the hardest of times because  He...

Sometimes we really can't see the forest for the trees.  Still devastated one year later.  If you are devastated, there is not a time table, no judgement.  I hesitate to write much these days.  It is a time to be quiet.  But I am writing for those who think they should be further along in grieving their loss.  May you be encouraged. My brother took his life just over a year ago.  I am just barely beginning to process the loss of this precious man and all he meant to me and to so many.  It has taken me a year just to face the tragedy of the loss.  So many stages in grieving.  This is not a self-indulgent post, but one of benefiting from other people sharing. I want to urge you (us) to press on.  Keep seeking God.  That's where I am,  because I have hope and truth.  John 17:17 says,  "Sanctify them by the truth; your word is truth."  I believe this to be true, and so I will stick closely t...

To my precious family, it is OK not to read this.  I love you.  And it's OK to not be OK. It's been a 6 month season to be quiet.   I will continue to be quiet.   But I will take  a moment  to share that God is indescribably close to the broken hearted.  Many of you are walking through  an intense season of suffering right now.  You are not alone. Psalm 34:18 says, "The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." That is what I know today.  That is a  truth  that I have been clinging to, but that is not always what it feels like.  I'm sharing today because we all have faced suffering, or are in the throws of suffering now, and sometimes we need to know that someone understands what it feels like, when the unimaginable happens. I hesitate to write because I'm still grieving, learning, and  respecting the grief of my loved ones  in the tragic loss of my brother in Marc...

Anxiety/Depression Disorder, yes, I have it, and I have something to say. Even with this diagnosis, I always seek to share HOPE & LIGHT, because God can redeem every story. I shared my story 2 years ago, and am compelled to share it again for anyone who is battling and looking for hope. I sometimes revisit my notes on healing because it is a continual process. A couple years ago I was asked to share my story of God meeting me in my darkest hour, at a ladies retreat. After that I felt it was time to share it in written form. When shared the first blog post, I was in a really good place.  But since then I had a season where I slipped back into fighting my own way. At one point my anxiety meds were at the upper limit and I was taking more and running out. I needed counsel and accountability. My way alone had short term relief and long term misery.  I still try to fight my own way, I'll not be done learning and growing until Heaven. I've had it all. I realize...

Five and a half years ago while recovering from surgery, I spent a lot of time in my favorite book, Isaiah.  I thought one day I might publish my story.  I saved countless entries, and now I look back and see them as stone's of remembrance for me, to celebrate His work that continues in my heart.  I  read some journal entries this morning from 2010, and God blessed me.  So if you're an Isaiah fan, you might be encouraged here.  I am not a theologian, so I just read and pray and write. There are several posts listed by date.  His Word says " My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. "(John 10:27 ESV). Keep or toss. :)   ·        2/22/10      I'm reading Isaiah everyday, my favorite book.  This section is so good about trusting God, not people.  We can love people without fear because He is the one holding us.  ("perfect love casts out fear 1 John 4:18)  ...