Beauty from Ashes - A Continual Process

The sun is shining in Kentucky this Labor Day weekend.  But it doesn't feel like it to some.  Do you see them?  Are you that person? "Do you know someone who needs encouraging in their faith today?"   The reply  of  the unknown reader was "yes, me."    I froze for a moment. I have been there, have you?  That place where you can't encourage your own heart?  You are too numb to think.  You pray to God, you read His Word, you listen to worship, and yet it's so dark.  You're screaming, but it's silent..., you feel no one would want to hear it. It's just not true.  We care, there is someone ready to listen.  We are meant to be here for each other, to help share the load, better yet, to shift the load to God's shoulders. "Take care, brothers, lest there be in any of you an evil, unbelieving heart, leading you to fall away from the living God.   But exhort one another every day, as long as it is...

Please do not carry your pain alone.  You are not alone.  I too carry grief.  So many carry a quiet pain.  Part of it is a new normal that will always be there.  I'm learning to live with loss.  But often still,  that new normal can surprise me and hit hard without warning.  It’s  especially true for many during holidays.   There are many stages and time frames for grief, but one thing is true, it often hits harder at Christmas no matter where you are in your grief.  I say "holistic grieving" because grief affects the mind, body and soul.  Emotional, physical, and spiritual health are a package deal.  I/we need help in all areas. I've shared many times that I've take a maintenance anti-depressant for years because I'm predisposed to anxiety and depression (MIND), and I run to keep my fybromyalgia at bay  (BODY) .  Please don’t feel shame if you need a doctor, or counselor, and or medication. ...

 & worship is part of my journey again... Two blog posts ago, I shared about not being able to "see for forest for the trees."  Progress is a journey, so I bring hope in this post.  I may not see the forest, but I can see a wooded area.  The desert is a long hot, ugly hike, but the trees give shade and rest.  My brother knew a lot about hiking!  He was on a journey to hike the AT a chunk at a time.  He found his peace in the forest.  And now I can see that in this inexpressible loss, hope is no longer just a mirage, there is water... Two years ago when I fell in love with the song Oceans, by Hillsong United, I knew I had been in deep waters  (Psalm 42:7) before and God had carried me. I knew I would soon be letting go of one to Honduras, and two nearing college. I knew I had a lot to learn. I felt confident that God had given this song to me at that time to point me back to the truth that He is always with me. Be strong and ...

Illumination and light are words that I am attracted to in the Bible...John 1:5 "The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it." But to those who are grieving, you are not alone, and I do not offer simple answers.  There are none.  I am just walking with you.  Lets press on. In my study group this week we have been encouraged to choose a verse from the Sermon on the Mount to meditate on and memorize. I chose Matthew 6:22-23.  "The eye is the lamp of the body. So, if your eye is healthy, your whole body will be full of light, 23 but if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light in you is darkness, how great is the darkness!" The context of this verse is more about "seeing" things (STUFF) you desire in order to make you happy.  But I immediately interpreted it as "seeing" THOUGHTS, WORDS.  Thinking about Jesus and His Word to illuminate my mind, and to replace dark thoughts.  I ...

Anxiety/Depression Disorder, yes, I have it, and I have something to say. Even with this diagnosis, I always seek to share HOPE & LIGHT, because God can redeem every story. I shared my story 2 years ago, and am compelled to share it again for anyone who is battling and looking for hope. I sometimes revisit my notes on healing because it is a continual process. A couple years ago I was asked to share my story of God meeting me in my darkest hour, at a ladies retreat. After that I felt it was time to share it in written form. When shared the first blog post, I was in a really good place.  But since then I had a season where I slipped back into fighting my own way. At one point my anxiety meds were at the upper limit and I was taking more and running out. I needed counsel and accountability. My way alone had short term relief and long term misery.  I still try to fight my own way, I'll not be done learning and growing until Heaven. I've had it all. I realize...

This is my "letting go" bush. A friend gave it to me the first August our girl left home.  This post may be too much information, or possibly shallow for some.  But I'm humbly sharing for the one who needs this connection.  The one who fears that being shaken and undone is the end and not the beginning of something good.  And I might add here, that while I'm incredibly honest about the struggles of anxiety, God has given me great joy, and I enjoy Him and the life He has path before me!  I love His Divine appointments! Yes I'm about to download a mashup of my soul.  For some who are "older," a "mashup" is when several things happen at once...most commonly songs.  Someone creatively blends and morphs one song into another.  Sometimes we need to mashup our stories, the ones that point to Jesus.  That is my intention. Well, I am not being creative here.  I am being honest.  Honest about life with Jesus.  My life wit...

My mantra for the year has been "and the light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it."  John 1:5.  I've seen it's application more than a hundred times this year, most recently in Honduras.  I saw the light in the dark places.  I saw it in the body of Christ serving and being Jesus to the least of these.  I saw it in an orphanage that left me aching to the bone for children.  I saw it when I saw precious Christian Honduran women telling Bible stories and singing about the love of Jesus with the children.  Their precious bodies, vessels carrying Christ, light, to little ones.  "Christ in us, the hope of glory."  Colossians 1:27.  Sparrow Mission teams visit there often, but the Lord allowed me see that He is there, in those ladies every day.  Light. In. The. Darkness. Why was I born here, and they were born there?  I used to have a lot of questions like this.  When I was in depression, I felt guilty ...