Beauty from Ashes - A Continual Process

We all have seasons that take us to our knees in prayer.  But oh, to be steady there forever on my knees.  That is my prayer , and that is why I share.  Because I can never find peace on my own, with all my fixes and doubts.  "I’ve stood tall and I have crumbled in the same breath" are lyrics that jumped out at me yesterday from the song As You Find Me , by Hillsong United. It's by God's grace that I can look back and see the lengthening of seasons of peace as the seasons of despair shorten.  There is grace for that.  But there are things that come along that break my soul in pieces, and it is there that grace waits to catch me.  It's there for you too. Until our journey on earth takes us to Heaven, we will face mountains that seem to separate us from the love of our Heavenly Father.   But the truth is that He has the purest love a Father can have.  His love is strengthening His children during the hardest of times because  He...

Anxiety/Depression Disorder, yes, I have it, and I have something to say. Even with this diagnosis, I always seek to share HOPE & LIGHT, because God can redeem every story. I shared my story 2 years ago, and am compelled to share it again for anyone who is battling and looking for hope. I sometimes revisit my notes on healing because it is a continual process. A couple years ago I was asked to share my story of God meeting me in my darkest hour, at a ladies retreat. After that I felt it was time to share it in written form. When shared the first blog post, I was in a really good place.  But since then I had a season where I slipped back into fighting my own way. At one point my anxiety meds were at the upper limit and I was taking more and running out. I needed counsel and accountability. My way alone had short term relief and long term misery.  I still try to fight my own way, I'll not be done learning and growing until Heaven. I've had it all. I realize...

Swirling! That's my brain!  I have shallow thoughts and deep thoughts to share.  Don't read this if you don't want to race in a few different directions!  But maybe one of these trails will resonate with you?  I used to ramble only to my close friends, that was safe.  But God doesn't call us to safe.  And after we watch 21 men of God give their lives by bowing to none other than Jesus Christ, vulnerability in my blog is no where near dangerous!  But that's what I'm wrestling with, is my faith dangerous?  Do I live it with any risk?  That question makes anything I share incredibly safe.  I sit behind a key board in a warm home on an unseasonably cold winter snow day, and write out my heart.  That's why I am reading Radical again by David Platt, as well as The Life of George Mueller .  I'm hungry, that's good!  I want sell "it" all, the "stuff of our culture," and in place of "it" give a message of HOPE. My heart goes s...

“Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”   Proverbs 16:24 I’m hitting this blog pretty hard right off the bat.   I know that I didn’t want to do it and that God clearly said, it’s time.   I also know that soon my time to write will be limited.   So today, I want to get the word out about my experience with shame.   I’m going to share one of my   journal posts from back in 2007.   I’m not going to edit it, I think it speaks from a deep place and God has asked me to stir up the deep places so others can be set free! Psalm 42:7-8 continue to drive it home to me, that God works most in the deep places, “Deep calls to deep at the sound of Your waterfalls; All Your breakers and Your waves have rolled over me.  8 The LORD will command His loving-kindness in the daytime; And His song will be with me in the night, A prayer to the God of my life.…” One last note before I paste the 2007 journal entry....

Seasons of fear , depression, anxiety, self-hatred, insecurity, illness, headaches…used to define my life.   I knew I was a Christian, but I lived and felt like an “orphan.”   My back story is common to many.   The brokenness in my childhood family was not wasted.   My disposition to anxiety and the crushing blow of people against the ministry my family was doing collided.   It drew us to Jesus for healing.   He never lets go! I’ve been praying about how, or when, or if to share my story in blog form.   I believe God is saying it’s time.   I also believe that the specifics of my story are not necessary to convey the faithfulness of God.   All of us have stories.   The important thing is that we point each other to God, that we give hope.   The Word says in Proverbs 13:12, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick.”   It also says in 1 Peter 3:15,   “ But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an an...