Beauty from Ashes - A Continual Process

I was murmuring to myself about the dark.  I was thinking about how I had to race home to run before dark, and now that's not even possible!  I ordered a reflective vest so oncoming cars could see me.  Tonight was the night.  The darkest run I've had so far, and my reflective vest came just in time - today!  That took the edge off of my murmuring mood and off I went. Now before you think I'm bragging about running, let me just say this.  I. Move. My. Feet.  And, I do this activity 3 times a week at best.  It's not that I am athletic!  Ironically, it actually helps my fibromyalgia pain.  Even when I feel yucky, I know that if I let too many days go by without a run, I will feel even worse.  So there are tons of lessons I learn from this moving of my feet, but tonight it's about the night . I noticed that I really enjoyed the run, and I think it is for a non-athletic reason!  I couldn't see how far I had to go!  All I...

Rag tag, that's me!  The longer I know Jesus, the more lovely and freeing that term is to me!  I am a self proclaimed nerd when it comes to fashion.  To me a great summer wardrobe is 7 v-neck t-shirts in 7 different colors and one or two solid capris and a pair of flip flops!  Also, I'm not much of a gourmet chef when it comes to cooking.  I could eat the same thing every day for the rest of my life and be happy!  Recipes take vision and desire for cooking, which I lack!  And decorating?!  While others love to get on Pinterest and "change-up" their home decor, I am just happy for a fresh coat of pain in a slightly different shade!  I married and educator and I really don't enjoy reading books!  In fact, we took one college class together when we were engaged, an easy one, and he made two letter grades higher than me.  I was so embarrassed!  I run slow, I don't have a green thumb, in fact I'll be lucky to keep alive the one toma...

The truth will set you free.  It's Mother's Day.  I'm unpacking my heart, as a mom today.  I am so blessed.  I give all the glory to God for adopting me as His own...  There is no way to measure that kind of love!  It's not about us! I've been told a thousand times, "you're too hard on yourself!"  Well read Proverbs 31 and you might see why!  Well sometimes I want to please others more than I truly believe that God's pleasure in me is enough.  One step further, I want to please others more than knowing that I can please HIM through Him, and that is enough.  That's no shocker if you know me!  I am quick to point out my weaknesses and to apologize in annoying abundance!  That's the fear of failing. That's the fear that robs others of joy. I wrestle with this and yet I know that because of God's great character, and the fact that I am His child , I am truly blessed, loved, redeemed, chosen, accepted, adopted, forgiven!   ...

The following is actually the text message I sent to my kiddos and hubby this am. Since I post my heart, I'm sharing it with you. Maybe just one of you sometimes gets stuck in the compulsive apology cycle, and forget that Jesus doesn't want compulsive, He wants real. Compulsive is when I am trying to do it all right, and fix it every time I do it wrong - IN MY STRENGTH. I don't like me when I'm stuck there!  It literally feels like a chain around my neck and a brick on my chest! GRACE is when I see my desperate need of a Savior Who forgives, and enables grace-filled living, dependence, and humility. So much easier and safer to rely on Him than me! So here is my heart split wide open again. Not going to think this one over.  I pray God splits my heart wide open with His Word every day until I'm with Him. Hebrews 4:12-16,  " For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, be...

I tripped over by own feet running a very slow pace yesterday!  A car actually pulled over to see if I was OK!  I waived them on, thumbs up, just a bruised hip and ego. I finished the run angry!  How could something I love to do make me so angry?  Well, for starters, I downloaded an app so I could map out different distances for running.  The app also tells me how far I've gone and also, what I already knew...I'm slow.   Over the years I've matured to not let it bother me.  But now it's right there in text after every run - stealing my joy!  I came in the house mad.  My sweet husband was expecting joy, but what he got was pity party!  Oh I threw a great one! "Well, honey, there's no danger in me ever being prideful!   I have nothing to tempt me to be prideful!   I can't sing, I'm a horrible athlete, I'm a horrible cook, terrible at math, unorganized!..." What's that about the enemy? He comes to rob, kill and destroy...John ...