My ugly/beautiful Saturday morning at the Cross

The following is actually the text message I sent to my kiddos and hubby this am. Since I post my heart, I'm sharing it with you. Maybe just one of you sometimes gets stuck in the compulsive apology cycle, and forget that Jesus doesn't want compulsive, He wants real. Compulsive is when I am trying to do it all right, and fix it every time I do it wrong - IN MY STRENGTH. I don't like me when I'm stuck there!  It literally feels like a chain around my neck and a brick on my chest!

GRACE is when I see my desperate need of a Savior Who forgives, and enables grace-filled living, dependence, and humility. So much easier and safer to rely on Him than me! So here is my heart split wide open again. Not going to think this one over.  I pray God splits my heart wide open with His Word every day until I'm with Him. Hebrews 4:12-16, 

"For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. 13 Nothing in all creation is hidden from God. Everything is naked and exposed before his eyes, and he is the one to whom we are accountable.14 So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. 15 This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. 16 So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most." 

There are other ways to live, but no other way to TRULY LIVE SET FREE. I've been there! So here it is, my family text verbatim, because if you believe in the gospel, we are all family:

"I know the term "gospel" is thrown around a lot. And so even I can throw an eye roll sometimes. But I'm telling each of you I'm so grateful for it. Sometimes I long to be on the poverty-stricken street in Honduras because right and wrong are just straight up in front of you. And yet, I get it so wrong right in my own heart. I drive you crazy with all my apologies. The truth is, I need to start over every day, and I also need to believe God forgives me every day. I love you with all my heart. I don't want to be a fake, ever! So I am humbling myself this morning, to just say I hope I reflect God and not my lazy selfish insecure ways today. And then I'll start over tomorrow. I love you and this is not a group text. I copied and pasted to each of you love, mama bear, love yo wife!"



"Yep, reading Radical again is so good for me. See this title ? Yeah, me."

And there you have it. Saturday morning at the cross. I pray we all "begin at the end of ourselves" as David Platt puts it. I find that if a book ministers to me, it is worth re-reading instead of adding to my huge list of books I hope to read!


Boldly I Approach from Rend Collective:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4QDnVD7gu5Y

How Can It Be by Lauren Daigle:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Ben2wwGyOk


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