How my body tells on me, and how it drives me to God



My hands hurt, really hurt.  Just being honest here.

"Whom have I in heaven but You? And besides You, I desire nothing on earth. My flesh and my heart may fail, But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26

I was telling my sis how frustrating it is that I know truth and yet the anxiety swirling within betrays me when my hands begin to ache.  They ache today, why?  Fibromyalgia makes me mad, until I surrender to God.  My body tells on me.  But sometimes that is what I need!  The pains are not predictable, and often random.  But I also know things that contribute to my pain, anxiety is one!  Sometimes my anxiety is fear driven, and sometimes it is excitement driven.  I had a mix the last couple of weeks. It just is what it is.  Humbling.

Today my sis reminded me of truth about me, when she said, "I know there's so much for our brains to get anxious about...it's crazy how our brains and our spirits don't agree!  You do great, speaking things out and over your situations...keep it up."

It is so true!  Romans 8 says the mind of the flesh is death, but the mind of the Spirit is life and peace.  Speaking out this truth and praying, reading His Word, listening to worship music all feed my spirit and put my feet on the victory path.

So if you're frustrated that truth conflicts within you, it's normal.  We see things as they are in the physical realm.  We must call out truth from the Spiritual realm into our physical realm.  Keep telling the stories of God showing Himself to you, and waiting in anticipation, looking to see what He wants you to see today!  That is where I find myself today.

I could feel defeated that I've shared so much, and still when vulnerable, have so much need of spiritual peace at times.  Kristen leaves for Honduras Thursday, Josh left just now for a week conference that will feed his body soul and mind.  I'm so excited for these events.  Yet I spin and spin a web of anxiety when I think about our youngest moving out next year.  It seems an impossible feat for this mama.  He's ready, and He is God's, and this is what you raise them for, to 

Give.Them.Back.

God did a total miracle in our family yesterday!  He met K's financial needs at the last minute leaving only $50 to owe.  She did what she could to earn her way to Honduras, and God came through outside the box!  And then!!!! Then, a minute later she got an email from work that she had a $50 check to pick up!!  See the miracle!?!  3 days before she leaves God provides down to the penny!  We had no fear that He wouldn't provide.  For some reason, He has given us great faith regarding provision.  But it is still a dancing swirling party when we see HIM break through!!!!!!!!

I am convinced that I would have more dancing swirling parties if I would trust Him in every area!  I do believe He is sanctifying me daily, and I'm not who I once was!  The journey is bittersweet, and heavy on the sweet, when I yield!

This is where I need to rest in future grace, the grace that will come when I need it.  No sense in camping where I haven't been yet!  

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

It almost feels wrong to go to such a common couple of verses, because sometimes in their familiarity, we lose the power God is giving to us.  So I'm practicing one of my favorite practices.  Going to the familiar in God's love letter to me, and meditating on the gift that it is!  Praying The Lord's prayer in order to keep me in the present:


These songs are beautiful and remind me of His presence, here and now!

Lauren Daigle, Noel

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Vwu-t7QRaE

Lauren Daigle and Chris Tomlin, Alleluia

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XG347euXoTM

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