Treasures in the Dark


A little encouragement for those in the dark places, feeling isolated, boxed in, and hopeless.  I have been in that dark place.  The causes may be different or the same, it doesn't matter.  What matters is that you need hope.  Proverbs 13:2 says,
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life."

 I write about what is most near to my heart at any given time.  If you've noticed a theme, it is because it is where I have been living and wrestling.  And for now, my greatest joy in writing is to give an answer for my hope.  1 Peter 3:15 says,
"Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect,..."

 So gently, I share my experience, not as an expert, but as a sojourner.  If darkness resonates with you, know that we are at different places on the journey of darkness, grief, dismay...

 I'm not one to point to hope unless I have it.  About 2 1/2 years ago, I had pretty much lost my hope.  Let's just say, I was not "prepared to give an answer." I had it tucked deep under unanswered questions and heart break.  Psalm 42:7 says, "
"Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me."

That describes what I was feeling.  Washed ashore and still pummeled by waves that would not stop.  At the time of our family's great loss, there were many good words offered to me.  Many good songs, good lyrics.  I am a lyrics gal, and yet, even now I can not listen to those words given to me in comfort because they are connected to such trauma.  My hope was not completely gone, but I couldn't grab on to it.  That's why I'm here to say it's OK to not be OK.  Ecclesiastes 3:1 says,



"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven..."


The depth of darkness felt, makes the contrast of  light more powerful.  I will say, if my hope was not anchored in Jesus Christ and eternity with Him, I might not be a hope-giver.  He is my source, and He has been faithful to me through the darkest hours.  The light of His presence is brighter now than ever in my life.

My grief is shared by many family and friends, and for each of us the journey is different.  I don't want to convey to any of my family that I'm "over the loss."  My journey is not over.  That is why I love the symbol of the semicolon, it means your story is not over, you are not giving up, there is more, likely more pain, but also more joy to come.

;

I thought that since I had grown through previous hardships, that I would rebound quicker with each new one.  I'm not naive enough to think the worst hardships are one and done.  I'm also not naive enough to think that after each one I'll heal faster.  But I have found that in life experiences, the growth from hardship becomes more stable.   We learn to stack up the list of treasures from the past, and use them to propel us forward.

No matter how long the darkness, I have found that healing does come.  And sometimes its well into life when you can be hit the hardest and be lost for the longest.  This is not to discourage but rather to say it is my story.  And after more than two years of darkness, I have sensed the light again, this time more precious than ever.


I began the journey of healing by never ending.  Never ending my belief that God's character is always good, never ending my belief that there would be purpose in the pain, and never ending my hope that the light would shine again.  I had already committed to memory John 1:5, and I was clinging to it.



"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."


I've shared that there are hidden treasures in the darkness.  For example, first day you smile, FOR REAL.  The first time you notice that every single day does not begin and end with heart ache.  The day that peace returns in your dialogue with God...  These things are worth noting.  Then one day you look back and see a weaving of your path through pain that you never could have planned, but someone who loved you enough to die for you planned.  Jesus planned a path for my journey towards healing.  He has a plan for each of us.

Jesus weaved some miraculous things together that were not just  "coincidences."  And once I saw what was happening, I began to look for the next hidden treasure.  One thing that I "treasure" now is being able to say, "I've walked in your shoes, I get it, I feel it, and I'm not going anywhere."  Most of the time that was all someone needed to say in order to give me a glimmer of hope.

Recently this whole "treasure" thing has strung together many strings of balloons shifting my gaze to Heaven.  Luke 12:33-35 says,



"Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide yourselves with purses that will not wear out, an inexhaustible treasure in heaven, where no thief approaches and no moth destroys. 34 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. 35Be dressed for service and keep your lamps burning."

Not only did the God of the universe come and die in our place so we could be with Him in Heaven, He says He's building mansions there for us.  FOR US!  He is our treasure and so are our lost loved ones.  They are treasures that are not lost for ever!

Someone once said, "the days drag on and the years fly by."  Well, one day there will be no more tears.  Revelation 21:4 says,

"He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

I still cry.  I still hurt.  And I still get a sucker punch of grief out of no where at times.  I still get mad, I still say "this wasn't supposed to happen..."  But I can truly say, for me the biggest treasure is "all my hope is Jesus," the one who came to rescue me.

Jesus might not be on your treasure hunt right now.  But if you ask Him, He will show up.

This summer I was blown away by all the little hidden treasures at the beach.  The shells washing to shore were just a tiny glimpse of all the WONDER hidden in the ocean.  The ocean is a vast dark place.  But there are far more glorious hidden things in the depths than meet the eye from the shoreline.  More than we can imagine.  That is what Heaven is, Heaven is real, and it is more than we can begin to imagine.

May you find your treasure, even if for now,  just one small glimmer of hope.

All My Hope is in Jesus by Passion with David Crowder and Tauren Wells,

City of Hope by Amanda Cook





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