Beauty from Ashes - A Continual Process

Beauty from Ashes - A Continual Process: (Re-post) There is no "silver lining" It. Is. Red.... : I wrote this post 2 years ago, on December 23rd, 2015, 3 months before I lost my brother, and we all lost a wonderful man as he went ahead ...

I wrote this post 2 years ago, on December 23rd, 2015, 3 months before I lost my brother, and we all lost a wonderful man as he went ahead to heaven. These words mean even more to me this Christmas. My (our) pain is deep...but also so many friends that I have are in the midst of deep pain this Christmas season. May you find hope here...Jesus. As I was out running this morning, I was so aware of God really tuning my heart this Advent season.  This will not be an organization of thoughts, but a download of disorganization and how that is OK. I'm more aware this year than ever, that Christmas in all it's beauty is also pain.  We rejoice in the precious baby, God incarnate being born.  We set out lights, candles, cards, cookies, gifts, traditions rich and meaningful to our families and friends.   But they are meaningless if they don't point to the Cross . One year we were given a nail ornament, to represent the nails that went into Jesus.  I always hid ...

The loss of my brother will always take my breath away - that's true for all who miss Joel.  As my heart constricts and my breath leaves, and I feel the deep ache in my chest and throat - even then,  I feel God again.  People said I would, but the despair made it impossible to imagine.  I also know that every day, season, event will bring new filters... I'm sure that in life, we will always be aware of someone suffering.  The ones who can get closest to our heart are those who have suffered in the same way.  In time our inward suffering calls us to outward action. A lot is going on in the world.  Where can God use your pain?  If not yet, some day He will, if you offer it up to Him.  Take your time...I'm taking mine.  But when you're His child, He is close, whether you sense it or not.  God. Is. My. Anchor. I have hope and a taste of His presence again.  Psalm 34 says, "Taste and see that the Lord is g...

I write my heart.  I write of pain and beauty.  My Blog title, Beauty from Ashes, is not about my beauty at all!  It is taken from Isaiah 61 where the Isaiah was telling of a God-man to come.  Jesus.   Jesus was going to come,  now Jesus has come, and the full healing of Jesus is to come.  But God wanted Isaiah to give us hope... The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, ... to proclaim good news to the poor. ... to comfort all who mourn, 3 and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor. Today at church we read Psalm 130.  David writes of pain, mercy, and waiting, and hope. A year and 5 months after my brother's death, I have grown and healed, and at the same ti...

Today I pray a glimmer of God's light will shine through my brokenness, the many cracks held together only by the Spirit of God. He is my glue. I'm learning that there's always a new filter through which we see life. Each painful experience, changes the way we filter past pain as well. We see everything differently.  With the unimaginable, there can come unimaginable strength as well. At some point we get to the place where this filter, though unwanted and always with us, allows us to see a new kind of beauty. A beauty from pain.  There is no time table for this... On my drive home last night I saw the sun setting on the horizon of a beautiful Kentucky farm.  I snapped the picture through my dirty car window.  All these thoughts came crashing in.  The window changed the purest beauty of the sun setting, but the sun was in the picture,  and its beauty was still there. A new strength slowly sprouts from beneath the cement, it's tender and nee...

 & worship is part of my journey again... Two blog posts ago, I shared about not being able to "see for forest for the trees."  Progress is a journey, so I bring hope in this post.  I may not see the forest, but I can see a wooded area.  The desert is a long hot, ugly hike, but the trees give shade and rest.  My brother knew a lot about hiking!  He was on a journey to hike the AT a chunk at a time.  He found his peace in the forest.  And now I can see that in this inexpressible loss, hope is no longer just a mirage, there is water... Two years ago when I fell in love with the song Oceans, by Hillsong United, I knew I had been in deep waters  (Psalm 42:7) before and God had carried me. I knew I would soon be letting go of one to Honduras, and two nearing college. I knew I had a lot to learn. I felt confident that God had given this song to me at that time to point me back to the truth that He is always with me. Be strong and ...