To Moms Who Think They Fail
The truth will set you free. It's Mother's Day. I'm unpacking my heart, as a mom today. I am so blessed. I give all the glory to God for adopting me as His own... There is no way to measure that kind of love! It's not about us!
I've been told a thousand times, "you're too hard on yourself!" Well read Proverbs 31 and you might see why! Well sometimes I want to please others more than I truly believe that God's pleasure in me is enough. One step further, I want to please others more than knowing that I can please HIM through Him, and that is enough. That's no shocker if you know me! I am quick to point out my weaknesses and to apologize in annoying abundance! That's the fear of failing. That's the fear that robs others of joy.
I wrestle with this and yet I know that because of God's great character, and the fact that I am His child, I am truly blessed, loved, redeemed, chosen, accepted, adopted, forgiven! When I don't receive that, I slip into another way of thinking. Because I have been rejected, I have failed, I get sick, I fight fatigue, I over do, I am truly a mess and so I hate me. Wow that sounds so drastic! But when I am there, I am there. I praise God that I am not there nearly as often as I used to be...it's a process, it's Jesus.
Why am I writing this on Mother's Day? Because I know there are others like me, who see all the fails, and forget all the grace. There are others comparing what they can accomplish to what others can accomplish. There are others who feel that when someone pitches in to help them, it is because they have failed to do it well on their own.
It is true, the enemy prowls like a lion seeking who to devour. That is in 1 Peter 5:8. He lurks to find our weak spots and make them glare at us! He knows that I need 9 hours of sleep, and that I can't function after 8pm, and that I don't think I cook well, and that I fall behind in the laundry, and that I can't get up earlier to exercise before work...despite exhausting myself to get as much done as possible SO I WON'T NEED HELP! Then I read Proverbs 31. Well, there you go! That woman does it all and then a ton more! I instantly feel like a failure.
When this happens, I feel like I need to say "please stop helping me, because it makes me feel like a failure!" Instead of thinking, "Lord, you have blessed me with the best man for me." When he picks up the slack, it is because he wants to, he loves me, and I am robbing him of his servant heart.
It's my pride as well, because I feel the urge to mention the things that I have completed and explain why I am exhausted, and then I feel badly that my precious husband is stuck with a less than a "wonder woman" wife! A wife who aches sometimes because neurons fire pain signals for no apparent reason! My man protects me. He sees when I am stretching and warns me to slow down because he cares about me, not because he thinks I am a weak failure. The pride in me says - I CAN DO THIS! Why does my body fight me when others can do more?
Why is it wrong to be a self-hater? It's wrong because I was made in the image of God and have been granted His righteousness robes to wear in place of my own. He gave His life in love for me, and I insult the depths of His love when I reject the gift of Him, and measure the failures of me.
Also, why is it wrong to feel the constant need to explain my limitations? It is pride. I want my family to know I have done my best, while it looks to me I have fallen short. But do I work for them, or do I serve them as unto the Lord?
1 Samuel 16:7 says, But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
God knows how each of us are made, He made us!! When we have limitations, HE KNOWS! He knows our hearts. He knows when we give all that we can give, and even in that, it is purely by HIS GRACE!
Anything any of us accomplish is. by. His. Grace! And, we will fail! In Proverbs 24:16 it says, "for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again," His grace lifts us up. His love lifts us up. My favorite part of Proverbs 31 is verses 25-6, "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue."
Where does that dignity and strength come from? Is it my perfection of a clean eating plan for the family, the completed laundry, the landscaping, the stocked refrigerator and organized closets? NO! Thank goodness! It comes from dressing in Christ's righteousness, and speaking out HIS WORD. That is where the power is. The power is in Christ and Christ alone.
So whatever you feel you fail at as a mother (or as child, or a mate, or a friend...), I have found a "sweet take away." We all fail, and when we rest in the cross, we all truly rest in who we are, His child. We are to live in community with one another. I think that the Proverbs 31 woman is a combination of all the differing gifted women coming together and doing life together. She is perfect, none of us are perfect. Jesus filled the biggest gap in all history to bring us into the loving presence of God the Father. We fill in the gaps for each other...that. is. fruit. of. Christ. in. us.
My prayer each day for my my family, friends, the church the lost, myself, is from Colossians chapter 1:
"we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all God’s people— 5 the faith and love that spring from the hope stored up for you in heaven and about which you have already heard in the true message of the gospel 6 that has come to you. In the same way, the gospel is bearing fruit and growing throughout the whole world—just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and truly understood God’s grace.
"We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives,10 so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, 11 being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, 12 and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.13 For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, 14 in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."
Mamas, receive the love of Jesus today. It will come through in different ways, in different people, in different circumstances. Look for His love. He says, when you seek me with all your heart you will find me. Jeremiah 29:13. Even if you are hurting, sick, alone, self-hating, weak, depressed...receive His love. He knows your heart. You may be a new mama, suffering with postpartum depression. I've been there, in that place that makes no sense at all. That place where the dream meets up with the reality of an unexpected path. Look for help, and look to Jesus. God will use all of it to write your story of HIS story! Speak out His promises even when they make no sense. Let your life flow with truth, "for out of the mouth comes the over flow of the heart," Luke 6:45. Lord let fruit flow out of our mouths, truth that points to you and you alone! Thank you that that we can rest in your finished work, and trust you for strength to do our work. We love you Lord!
Holy Spirit by Francesca Basttistelli
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SS5S8Unvm48
I've been told a thousand times, "you're too hard on yourself!" Well read Proverbs 31 and you might see why! Well sometimes I want to please others more than I truly believe that God's pleasure in me is enough. One step further, I want to please others more than knowing that I can please HIM through Him, and that is enough. That's no shocker if you know me! I am quick to point out my weaknesses and to apologize in annoying abundance! That's the fear of failing. That's the fear that robs others of joy.
I wrestle with this and yet I know that because of God's great character, and the fact that I am His child, I am truly blessed, loved, redeemed, chosen, accepted, adopted, forgiven! When I don't receive that, I slip into another way of thinking. Because I have been rejected, I have failed, I get sick, I fight fatigue, I over do, I am truly a mess and so I hate me. Wow that sounds so drastic! But when I am there, I am there. I praise God that I am not there nearly as often as I used to be...it's a process, it's Jesus.
Why am I writing this on Mother's Day? Because I know there are others like me, who see all the fails, and forget all the grace. There are others comparing what they can accomplish to what others can accomplish. There are others who feel that when someone pitches in to help them, it is because they have failed to do it well on their own.
It is true, the enemy prowls like a lion seeking who to devour. That is in 1 Peter 5:8. He lurks to find our weak spots and make them glare at us! He knows that I need 9 hours of sleep, and that I can't function after 8pm, and that I don't think I cook well, and that I fall behind in the laundry, and that I can't get up earlier to exercise before work...despite exhausting myself to get as much done as possible SO I WON'T NEED HELP! Then I read Proverbs 31. Well, there you go! That woman does it all and then a ton more! I instantly feel like a failure.
When this happens, I feel like I need to say "please stop helping me, because it makes me feel like a failure!" Instead of thinking, "Lord, you have blessed me with the best man for me." When he picks up the slack, it is because he wants to, he loves me, and I am robbing him of his servant heart.
It's my pride as well, because I feel the urge to mention the things that I have completed and explain why I am exhausted, and then I feel badly that my precious husband is stuck with a less than a "wonder woman" wife! A wife who aches sometimes because neurons fire pain signals for no apparent reason! My man protects me. He sees when I am stretching and warns me to slow down because he cares about me, not because he thinks I am a weak failure. The pride in me says - I CAN DO THIS! Why does my body fight me when others can do more?
Why is it wrong to be a self-hater? It's wrong because I was made in the image of God and have been granted His righteousness robes to wear in place of my own. He gave His life in love for me, and I insult the depths of His love when I reject the gift of Him, and measure the failures of me.
Also, why is it wrong to feel the constant need to explain my limitations? It is pride. I want my family to know I have done my best, while it looks to me I have fallen short. But do I work for them, or do I serve them as unto the Lord?
1 Samuel 16:7 says, But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
God knows how each of us are made, He made us!! When we have limitations, HE KNOWS! He knows our hearts. He knows when we give all that we can give, and even in that, it is purely by HIS GRACE!
Anything any of us accomplish is. by. His. Grace! And, we will fail! In Proverbs 24:16 it says, "for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again," His grace lifts us up. His love lifts us up. My favorite part of Proverbs 31 is verses 25-6, "She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue."
Where does that dignity and strength come from? Is it my perfection of a clean eating plan for the family, the completed laundry, the landscaping, the stocked refrigerator and organized closets? NO! Thank goodness! It comes from dressing in Christ's righteousness, and speaking out HIS WORD. That is where the power is. The power is in Christ and Christ alone.
So whatever you feel you fail at as a mother (or as child, or a mate, or a friend...), I have found a "sweet take away." We all fail, and when we rest in the cross, we all truly rest in who we are, His child. We are to live in community with one another. I think that the Proverbs 31 woman is a combination of all the differing gifted women coming together and doing life together. She is perfect, none of us are perfect. Jesus filled the biggest gap in all history to bring us into the loving presence of God the Father. We fill in the gaps for each other...that. is. fruit. of. Christ. in. us.
My prayer each day for my my family, friends, the church the lost, myself, is from Colossians chapter 1:
"we pray for you, because we have heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love you have for all God’s people— 5 the faith and love that spring from the hope stored up for you in heaven and about which you have already heard in the true message of the gospel 6 that has come to you. In the same way, the gospel is bearing fruit and growing throughout the whole world—just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and truly understood God’s grace.
"We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives,10 so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, 11 being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, 12 and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.13 For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, 14 in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."
Mamas, receive the love of Jesus today. It will come through in different ways, in different people, in different circumstances. Look for His love. He says, when you seek me with all your heart you will find me. Jeremiah 29:13. Even if you are hurting, sick, alone, self-hating, weak, depressed...receive His love. He knows your heart. You may be a new mama, suffering with postpartum depression. I've been there, in that place that makes no sense at all. That place where the dream meets up with the reality of an unexpected path. Look for help, and look to Jesus. God will use all of it to write your story of HIS story! Speak out His promises even when they make no sense. Let your life flow with truth, "for out of the mouth comes the over flow of the heart," Luke 6:45. Lord let fruit flow out of our mouths, truth that points to you and you alone! Thank you that that we can rest in your finished work, and trust you for strength to do our work. We love you Lord!
Holy Spirit by Francesca Basttistelli
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SS5S8Unvm48
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