When I am empty, what do I do?
I am just now, at 49 learning to press "pause" on my need to download and bring closure on a subject AS IT HAPPENS! It hasn't been easy. My "get it over with" plan is selfish and unwise, when it comes to processing life with those I love. Waiting for that "window?" Not so easy! I tend to be all silent, or all talk. There is wisdom in learning to bring balance, slowness, gentleness, and timing of delivery to every situation. I need to discern where my "listener" is first with their thoughts, heart, needs...not my own. Knowing my own, will help me with this - ironically!! You'll see where I'm going with this.
Proverbs 16:20-24 is on my refrigerator as a constant reminder to God-center my heart before I download. It is a great filter to meditate on before speaking. It says,
"Whoever gives thought to the word will discover good, and blessed is he who trusts in the Lord.
21 The wise of heart is called discerning,
and sweetness of speech increases persuasiveness.
22 Good sense is a fountain of life to him who has it,
but the instruction of fools is folly.
23 The heart of the wise makes his speech judicious
and adds persuasiveness to his lips.
24 Gracious words are like a honeycomb,
sweetness to the soul and health to the body."
We were talking with some friends last week about the best time to share "not so good news" with your spouse. I'm talking about just the cruddy bad day kind of news. Not intense life altering bad news. So in this conversation I said, "my mom always said wait until the person has a full tummy!" Right after I said that some one spoke up and reminded me of the acronym H.A.L.T. It is to remind you to never get too HUNGRY, ANGRY, LONELY, or TIRED. It is a great tool! When any one of those tanks (or several!) gets too empty, we give into impulse more quickly. You might identify with some of these: When I am over tired at the end of the day I shut down and I can really get crabby if the shutdown process doesn't happen! When I was pregnant, I would instantly be hungry, and if I didn't have a snack with me, I was instantly crabby! When I was in depression, I isolated, and isolation is not a good tool. And finally, when I've held a grudge, I've brought myself down.
Who is not busy these days? That is why it is important to equip each other on this topic! How to keep our tanks full in the midst of busy is critical! It's Saturday, and I am blurting out this blog post with a 10 minute "limit" on my writing time (which will not happen) but I sense God pulling me to the key board once again.
Last week I had two really great days in a row! Looking back, I realized that I had recently had quality time with distant family, quality time with my hubby, and a couple of really great nights of sleep! I also have had some great quiet time just writing out Scripture and prayers. I can't always do that for long amounts of time, but it did show me the contrast between what I "thought felt good," and what "really feeling good" is! Even the friends I work with noticed I was up a notch in "calm-happy!" Of course those closest to me at work or home, also know the "empty me" that I try to hide. It often comes bursting out at the worst times! The times when we need to be strong, we are often vulnerable, unless we prepare.
We need to apply H.A.L.T. to our spiritual lives as well as physical. If we don't read the Bible (H-hunger: fill out spiritual tummies), keep short accounts (A- anger: forgive and ask forgiveness), have some community (L-lonely: if even just one other person to process), and rest in God's strength (T-tired: not our own strength), we will crash and burn.
Sometimes I think "self-care" is selfish, but if I don't take care of my needs, I can't help anyone else. It's like the oxygen mask on an airplane, you put yours on first, then the ones you are caring for next. That way you don't pass out before ensuring they are safe!
So what do I do when I am bottoming out spiritually? Jesus says, "come all who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28. The only way to go to Him is to go in prayer and in Scripture reading/meditation. That is what truly drew me out of the pit years ago, and continues to be my daily I.V. for life!
Different seasons of our lives require different amounts of filling up. And filling up consistently prepares us for the unknowns ahead. I'm not talking about filling up so bad things won't happen. I'm talking about filling up on Jesus so that when bad things happen, we have a source of nourishment in place.
Before I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I was exhausted and living in chronic pain. I had to sleep a lot... days on end at times. I always looked and felt sick. People would just look at me and know I was moving slow, and I looked like I'd been run over by a truck! There were friends who poured into me. They stood in the gap and prayed. I wasn't even able to fill anything but my physical need to sleep.
Before I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I was exhausted and living in chronic pain. I had to sleep a lot... days on end at times. I always looked and felt sick. People would just look at me and know I was moving slow, and I looked like I'd been run over by a truck! There were friends who poured into me. They stood in the gap and prayed. I wasn't even able to fill anything but my physical need to sleep.
During that season, I learned a spiritual lesson. I had to learn to rest spiritually as well. After much inner battle, I surrendered my "in bed" days to the Lord. I began listening to worship music and Scripture while I was in bed. I began drawing on His strength, not my own efforts to get peace. I let His word fill the void of loneliness throughout the day...I surrendered the season to His work in my life and quit trying to suck it up and keep going. It was humbling. I felt very guilty for not feeling well. I had to trust that God was sovereignly caring for me and had purpose in the suffering. He did!
God did eventually lead me to a diagnosis and great medicine. But I learned a lot about surrender, compassion for others with chronic conditions, and trusting in God's timing and purpose. I also learned that I can't do what other people can do physically. This has been a lesson in humility. A reminder that God knows my heart, and He is the only One I am accountable to for "what I do." We can truly love like 1 John 4:18 says, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." We can love without fear of judgement or what may or may come back our way. We can let go of the expectations of others and love as the Father leads.
So bottom line, we need to take care of ourselves because we are His temple, and we need to be ready to help others for His glory. We all take turns encouraging each other. That's the beauty of the BODY OF CHRIST.
God did eventually lead me to a diagnosis and great medicine. But I learned a lot about surrender, compassion for others with chronic conditions, and trusting in God's timing and purpose. I also learned that I can't do what other people can do physically. This has been a lesson in humility. A reminder that God knows my heart, and He is the only One I am accountable to for "what I do." We can truly love like 1 John 4:18 says, "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love." We can love without fear of judgement or what may or may come back our way. We can let go of the expectations of others and love as the Father leads.
In the most basic form, we are to "... love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ 31 The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30-31
When God's GRACE DEFINES HIS LOVE, then HIS LOVE IN US DEFINES OUR BOUNDARIES. This is a fluid love, not a formula. That is why we must STAY. IN. TODAY.
As we pray and meditate on His word, the Holy Spirit fills us up and He gives us discernment over where we are to be busy. We must slow down and ask and listen for His voice.
But the ultimate goal is not just to be well physically and spiritually for ourselves! The ultimate goal is to be prepared to do Kingdom work! Isaiah 52:7 says, "How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!" We can't help the poor, the tired, the needy, the downcast if we are not strong and ready for action. And by strong, I mean, let Him be strong in our weakness.
But the ultimate goal is not just to be well physically and spiritually for ourselves! The ultimate goal is to be prepared to do Kingdom work! Isaiah 52:7 says, "How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!" We can't help the poor, the tired, the needy, the downcast if we are not strong and ready for action. And by strong, I mean, let Him be strong in our weakness.
THAT. IS. WHEN. THE. BEAUTY. OF. THE. GOSPEL. COMES. TO. LIFE.
OFTEN. THE. NOT. SO. GOOD. NEWS. BRINGS. GOOD. FRUIT.
KEEP. FULL. CALM. COMPANY. RESTED.
SPIRITUALLY. AND. PHYSICALLY.
So bottom line, we need to take care of ourselves because we are His temple, and we need to be ready to help others for His glory. We all take turns encouraging each other. That's the beauty of the BODY OF CHRIST.
Look for those who are empty and do some ministry. If you discern you are empty, go to Jesus, and some one that you trust.
Accountability isn't all about catching each other's sins, it's about going the extra mile to keep each other filled with Scripture truth, and of course, Jesus! Some supporting Scriptures follow below the song link. One of my favorites, I Need You, I Love You, I Want You by Tenth Avenue North:
And Brother by Needtobreathe
And Come to the River, by Housefires ll
Psalm 34:8 "Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good!
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!"
Ephesians 3:16-19 says, " that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth,19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God."
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? 20For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body."
Fill up on His promises. Psalm 91:14-16 says, “Because He holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. 15 When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. 16 With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”
Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him!"
Ephesians 3:16-19 says, " that according to the riches of his glory he may grant you to be strengthened with power through his Spirit in your inner being, 17 so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith—that you, being rooted and grounded in love, 18 may have strength to comprehend with all the saints what is the breadth and length and height and depth,19 and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge, that you may be filled with all the fullness of God."
1 Corinthians 6:19-20 says, "Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own? 20For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body."
Fill up on His promises. Psalm 91:14-16 says, “Because He holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him; I will protect him, because he knows my name. 15 When he calls to me, I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble; I will rescue him and honor him. 16 With long life I will satisfy him and show him my salvation.”
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