A Messy Princess!
I wrote this post 4 years ago, but part of sharing my
healing is sharing the journey past and present. I am not having a fibromyalgia flare up right now. But this post gives a glimpse of me in
the throws of one. Four years
later, this reflects what God continues to do in my heart and life. May it encourage all to believe in
their identity in Christ Jesus.
May we rest in His grace, not resist it! Here is the post:
I remember the big white bible story book we had
when I was little. I must have
been 5 or so because I remember the red house we lived in. The color red, made it a special house
to me! In that home, I remember,
when it came time for a Bible story, I always wanted my daddy to read me the
same story. It was the story of
the little girl who was sick and Jesus healed her.
Wow, not even until this moment did I see how that
story was a picture of my (our) entire journey! I loved it even before I knew how profound it was! Until we are in heaven we are
constantly growing, falling, getting wounded, wounding others, wounds break
open, and God removes layers and layers as HE heals our souls and makes us more
like HIM. Then we move out and share
the love of JESUS with others!
The sweet story is in Mark 5:35 “…messengers arrived from Jairus’s home with the message,
“Your daughter is dead. There’s no
use troubling the Teacher now.”
But Jesus ignored their comments and said to Jairus, “Don’t be afraid. Just trust me.” Verse 41 “Holding her hand, he said to
her, “get up little girl!” And the
girl, who was 12 years old, immediately stood up and walked around!”
Over the years, I have heard Jesus say through
many different messengers in my life, “Don’t
be afraid. Just trust me.” Why is it just now, when I am 44 years
old, that Proverbs 3:5-6 has become my 2011 verse? “Trust in the
Lord with all your heart, and lean
not on your own understanding. In
all your ways acknowledge HIM and HE will direct your path.” Maybe because, time and again, I forget
I am a PRINCESS in HIS Kingdom. I
forget to read the truth that is in the WORD. “Sanctify me by your Word, Your Word is truth!” John 17:17
Just like most people I know, there have been
hardships and triumphs over the years.
These experiences shape us.
They build character, and
most importantly lead us to the One, the Prince of Peace, Who can truly say “trust me” and we can believe Him.
When
I see life through the lens of my own strength, I am easily paralyzed with
fear! How can I forget? The mind set on the flesh is death And the mind set on the Spirit is
“life and peace.” (Romans 8:6) I
can pray, I am His, a daughter of
the King, a PRINCESS! I can ask
for life and peace.
Countless
small victories amount to big steps
towards freedom from fear and sin.
“Though a righteous man falls seven times, he rises again,“ Proverbs 24:16. I am so glad that is in the Bible!
The
little PRINCESS Julie, climbed the steps of life moving from rejection to acceptance, broken home to
God’s healing the ones I love, personal anxiety and depression to joy and
peace, chronic illness to vibrant life, fear of failing as a parent to
surrendering to HIM. I see these
times as moving from the mindset of my flesh to the mindset of the Spirit – life and peace.
2
Corinthians 3:18 “And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the
Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to
another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”
I
see this verse in picture form, and the “one degree of glory to another” looks
like steps! And the Holy Spirit
walks beside this PRINCESS every step of the way, turning each step up into a
victory, strength!
Sometimes,
I forget that I don’t have to have all the answers. I don’t even have to know how to pray! It also says in Romans 8: 26-28 “In the same
way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray
for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. 27
And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit
intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.” Oh PRINCESS, just put on your beautiful
gown and let THE FATHER lead!
Each
step in my experience has been
challenged with the weight of the world. It shouldn’t surprise me! Romans 8:21 -23 says “All creation
anticipates the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from
death and decay….and even we Christians, although we have the Holy Spirit…also
groan to be released from pain and suffering.” About 12 years ago God touched the
PRINCESS and planted a seed of healing.
As PRINCESS Julie began to speak to the mountains with Scripture, she
began to grow. The mountains began
to shrink. No longer
mountains, but steps on the stair case upward, lighter with each step! Each victory re-learning often, who
this little girl is – HIS PRINCESS!
So
even today, as I sit here with a fibromyalgia flare up, I can surrender and say
that in eternity I am healed. And
in the mean time I am HIS PRINCESS,
sick or not, and a loving FATHER Who just wants me to rest and trust
HIM. The surrendering is hard, and
I surrender sooner than I used to surrender! There, that’s growth!
That’s healing! But truth
is, I did not surrender last week when this flare began. Several days into it,
I felt my spirit yield to HIM and to the rest I would need in order to get
well. I slipped back into my. PRINCESS
gown and began to sleep. And now I
sit here in my PRINCESS gown telling a PRINCESS tale.
I
know there are many steps ahead, and I TRUST that this PRINCESS will stay in
her princess gown, never to forget
again, she is healed, she is HIS. Long ago, when this PRINCESS tried to
grow up and handle things on her own, she slipped into the pit of despair. That time, about 12 years ago, God
lifted me out and gave me a new song!
Psalm
40 1” I waited patiently for the LORD;
he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the LORD
and put their trust in him.”
he turned to me and heard my cry.
2 He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear the LORD
and put their trust in him.”
Psalm
40:16-17 comfort me because so often I forget that I am a PRINCESS, and to pray
to my Heavenly Father just like David did:
16””But may all
who seek you
rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who long for your saving help always say,
“The LORD is great!”
rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who long for your saving help always say,
“The LORD is great!”
17 But as for
me, I am poor and needy;
may the Lord think of me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
you are my God, do not delay. “
may the Lord think of me.
You are my help and my deliverer;
you are my God, do not delay. “
It
comforts me that even David, who was claiming victory and a new song, ended
this psalm with a prayer for the Lord to continue to deliver him. Even when we do not know what to pray,
we cry out to our HEAVENLY FATHER, remembering “the Spirit intercedes for us.”
In
the end, “despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, Who
loved us.” Romans 8:37 And
this PRINCESS is “convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels
nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39
neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to
separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”
Romans 8:38-39
My prayer: I love that story Jesus! Thank you for showing me as a little
girl, that You are the HEALER and I am your PRINCESS! Psalm 40 is my favorite Psalm. I began to own it 10 years ago as I was beginning to have a
new song! It tells of David’s plea
for help, deliverance, victory and testimony, and ends with his cry for
continued help, saying “for I am poor and needy, do not delay.” Until Heaven we will daily need
ministry of the gospel to our hearts and to the hearts of those God puts in our
path.
The
honest truth is that in the time between 2002 when I first began to testify of
God’s healing power and now, I have battled through bulimia, anxiety, and self
medication for my nerves. Now I have great Doctors caring for my medication and a Great Heavenly Father Who cares for my soul! The
series of despair and victory tell a story, one that always leads me closer to
HIM. Each time He has lovingly
“put skin on” thru precious friends who pray and do life with me.
At
this time, I am free of those things, by the grace of God. I am stripped away of all fleshly
“helps.” Exposed! But filled
with the Spirit who brings true life,
new life. I am willing now to “feel” life and trust that HE is able
to do more than I can every imagine!
I chose the background of this blog to be an ocean, because this year the song Oceans by Hillsong United has been my theme song! Miraculously, we actually were at the Caribbean Ocean on our Honduran Mission Trip this month! Wow God, you never cease to amaze me!
This is one of my favorite songs right now! It is Well by Kristen DiMarco
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