Separation Heartache...There Will Come Beauty...

I have always been prone to separation anxiety.  I still get a lump in my throat when anyone leaves, whether they’re going back to Ohio, Texas, Iowa, or school!!!  Yes even the first day of school gets me!  There is a trigger there that I can’t explain…a level of grieving that might seem foolish to a lot of people.

So I have dreaded this day all summer.  Not because someone is leaving me, but because my daughter, Kristen, is leaving the children she loves in Los Bordos, San Pedro Sula, Honduras after serving and loving on them for 2 months.  I feel the crush on my chest as if it were me…because she is a part of me.  I have always felt every emotion of our two kids at the deepest level.  Today I feel it double, for Kristen and for the children in Los Bordos.

But I can not camp here!  All summer I have prayed for the Lord to prepare Kristen for this day.  Can I not trust Him?  I’ve kept the dread away from my thoughts, and then I see this picture with her facebook status this morning.  Her status read,

"How in the world do you say goodbye?  Thanking God today for such an amazing summer of ministry but also begging for strength as we say our goodbyes to the people who have become family?"

This is Los Bordos, this summer I was privileged to walked this road, and hold this baby that Kristen loves so much, as well as so many others.  But here’s the thing, I know how to do battle for me, for her, for the children.  I have to believe what I believe, that God is with us, Emmanuel.  

I have to pray the Scripture, as I have prescribed to so many!  Yes, I’m going to feel the emotion, the pounding heart, the lumpy throat, the pit in my stomach, but I am not going to let the enemy use this separation for those children, my daughter, or me, to rob us of the knowledge of His Kingdom work always in motion!  His love, always present.  The enemy comes to "rob, kill, and destroy!" (John 10:10)

So I will start with Psalm 103 and pretty much live there all day!  It starts with praise!  It’s the best self-talk passage for me!

Verse 1-2

“Praise the Lord, my soul;

all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

2Praise the Lord, my soul,

and forget not all his benefits—“

And yes!  God is doing amazing work in Los Bordos, (through Sparrow Missions)  in Kristen, in me, in our family, in the children of God!  I must praise Him!  God is not abandoning His work!  There is it!  Thank you Lord!  My first healing verse just popped into my head just now!  Psalm 138:8

“The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever. Do not forsake (abandon) the work of your hands.”

God is not a God of abandonment!  Remember when God was taking Elijah up to heaven and Elisha was distraught?  Elisha didn’t want Elijah to go.  But God shows us His faithfulness to Elisha in this passage.  Elisha feels the pain, and soon after, feels the presence of God in him as he picks up Elijah’s mantle and cries out to God and strikes the waters!  And the waters parted!  God was showed Himself to Elisha right away!  1 Kings 2:11-15

11As they were going along and talking, behold, there appeared a chariot of fire and horses of fire which separated the two of them. And Elijah went up by a whirlwind to heaven. 12Elisha saw it and cried out, “My father, my father, the chariots of Israel and its horsemen!” And he saw Elijah no more. Then he took hold of his own clothes and tore them in two pieces. 13He also took up the mantle of Elijah that fell from him and returned and stood by the bank of the Jordan.14He took the mantle of Elijah that fell from him and struck the waters and said, “Where is the LORD, the God of Elijah?” And when he also had struck the waters, they were divided here and there; and Elisha crossed over.  15Now when the sons of the prophets who were at Jericho opposite him saw him, they said, “The spirit of Elijah rests on Elisha.””

I must believe in the consistency of God's character!  I now look back to Psalm 103.  These are the promises of God!  And we can rest knowing that the work of God started in each of our hearts will continue.  The work of God will continue in Lost Bordos, in Kristen’s life, in my life…in your life!  The work continues in Honduras through Sparrow Missions and all of God's children at work there and everywhere!  Kristen will always be a part of that work.

Verses 3-6

3”who forgives all your sins

and heals all your diseases,

4who redeems your life from the pit

and crowns you with love and compassion,

5who satisfies your desires with good things

so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

6The Lord works righteousness

and justice for all the oppressed.”

And we can pray through the separation, knowing that God hears our plea.  He holds are heart.  God the Father and Jesus felt separation in an unfathomable amount when Jesus took our sin upon Himself, and was separated from His Father until He rose again, paying for our sin once and for all!  God felt it!!!  And through His pain we have received the grace to be His children and know that He will walk through pain with us, shielding us!  The Word says God "collects our tears in a bottle.” (Psalm 56:8)  

He also promises to protect.  The entire 91^st Psalm is known as the “protection” Psalm.  Psalm 91:11-12 says about the angels,

“For he will command his angels concerning you
    to guard you in all your ways;
¹² they will lift you up in their hands,”

What a beautiful picture of the angels again,  at the end of Psalm 103

Verse 19-22

“The Lord has established his throne in heaven,

and his kingdom rules over all.

20Praise the Lord, you his angels,

you mighty ones who do his bidding,

who obey his word.

21Praise the Lord, all his heavenly hosts,

you his servants who do his will.

22Praise the Lord, all his works

everywhere in his dominion.

Praise the Lord, my soul.”

I love to think of the angels, obeying God’s Word!  They listen for His commands!  When we pray Scripture they are hearing His commands, yes, even through the physical realm.  No, we don’t tell them what to do, but we see that God does, and they carry out His will – everywhere!

So as my heart aches on many levels today, I cling to God and I am not consumed.  I pray and believe the same for everyone everywhere who is separating today…God is with you, and the one you love, Emmanuel – God with us.  That is His character and we can count on it!

A song I love, "Angels" by Bethel Music:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSrb_S91y7s